A Tenth Anti-Versary: The Way It Is, 7 September

FEATURED BROADCAST
THE KALLMANAC:
OUR TENTH ANTI-VERSARY PROGRAM
Including THE BATTLE OF JERICHO, ARKANSAS;
THE RETURN OF RACHAEL LASER; THE GROPING DARK
(KLAV-AM, LAS VEGAS; 2009)

We didn't exactly throw the proverbial kitchen sink into this one, ladies and gentlemen, but we did find it rather irresistible to commemorate our tenth broadcast with a little satire of anniversary programs, by way of establishing your host as the fall guy for a round of mock tributes from his station colleagues, who probably still have no idea for what they signed up when they agreed to bring him aboard in July.

From which point he and his crew slice a now-disbanded small-town police department's, ahem, desperation in fund raising . . . dice Rachael Ray in "Rachael Laser Returns" . . . and puree, with affection and respect for the longevity of the thing if perhaps nothing else, The Guiding Light, which will leave the air a week from Friday after an unprecedented 72-year life on old-time radio and longtime television, in a sketch he calls "The Groping Dark."

With Patty Price (also Meaty in "The Groping Dark"). Announcer/Rachael Laser: Siri Morgan. Writer/director: Jeff Kallman.

CHANNEL SURFING . . .

DUFFY'S TAVERN: ARCHIE BUYS AN ARMY SURPLUS HELICOPTER (NBC, 1950)---Archie's (Ed Gardner) shifty childhood buddy has gotten into the war surplus business, and naturally Archie's a little too eager to throw him some business. Eddie: Eddie Green. Miss Duffy: Gloria Erlanger. Finnegan: Charles Cantor. Writers: Ed Gardner, Bob Schiller.