Rule Six

James Thurber's sixth rule of humour enjoins against comic stories about plumbers mistaken for surgeons, sheriffs terrified by gunfire, psychiatrists driven crazy by women patients, doctors fainting at the sight of blood, adolescent girls knowing more about sex than their fathers, and midgets who become the parents of two-hundred-pound wrestlers.

Suppose we reverse the clauses in Thurber's Rule Six? Uh-oh.

The swelling of malpractise insurance and litigation can leave you wondering how many surgeons have been mistaken for plumbers. The swelling of celluloid libidinism since then can leave you wondering how many women have been driven crazy by psychiatrists and how many fathers know more about sex than their adolescent children. And the swelling of political correctness probably means nobody parents a midget, never mind two-hundred-pound wrestlers.

Reversing the sheriffs and the gunfire is a challenge. But I wonder sometimes whether a vampire would faint at the sight of a doctor.